Don't want to......

When you feel down and out, take to writing. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that writing is cathartic!

Write your script. When you see things you don’t want, don’t think about them, write about them!

I wish there were groups out there that focussed on helping people like us with our long list of don’t wants, especially..
the don't want to be in pain anymore, don't want to feel so low anymore, don't want to be a failure anymore, don't want to be single anymore, don't want to wear a facade anymore, don't want to go on with this sorry life anymore......
.....but unfortunately not many tell us how to deal with our demons, our insecurities, our worries and our pain, not unless you're moneyed and can dole out serious cash to sit an hour with a shrink everyday!!

People say that talking to your friends helps a lot.....I have close friends, married friends, friends with kids and in-laws, dealing with their own lives the best they can right now....do I really want to get together and talk serious emotional turmoil with them? I mean.....who out there hasn't hidden a small slice of their lives even from your closest friend! They love you, they'll feel for you, they'll advise you, they'll hold your hand for you, they'll pacify you. ......but at night when you're in your bed (in my case....alone), feeling your most vulnerable, all you have is YOU.

Its so easy for self-help gurus to ask you to remove your attention from the don’t wants......and to take back the reins of your life and be in control!!!
For a cynic like me, it doesn't cut it. It's so easy to say and so very difficult to implement. Ask a recovering addict and he or she will tell you. Each day is a struggle, a fight to survive. The will to hang on is where our hope and faith springs from.
The hope that everything will eventually get better one day and your faith and belief in that....keep you alive.
It may never get better for us maybe and we'll just go on with our lives...ticking off each day as it ends OR things might just happen....we might make them and then look forward to each day as it dawns!

Laying supine on a couch or bed, all alone in your room....it's so easy to get crushed under the burden of our own emotional baggage!! Sometimes our situation may not be that bad but because we refuse to act on it in time, we just make it worse.

Remember, that opportunity knocks on every door. You just 'don't want' to lock yourself in a room crying about your raw deal, when it knocks. You might just not hear it.....