For those you work with or interact with regularly .. get a notebook and write down positive aspects of each of those people.
Write down the things you like most about them (don’t expect change from them).
Most of the times we complicate the relationships around us by pushing our own expectations onto the other person. And then when they fail to meet up to them, we get negative about them. Every small thing they do starts annoying us, we start to look for excuses to avoid them, to answer their calls and talk to them. We form an almost demonic entity of them in our mind and stick with it, no matter how others perceive this person. He or she could actually be a nice, friendly person...maybe just a little awkward around you because you two don't have much in common...or maybe they're shy or like you too much. And most often, they don't have a clue about the going ons of your mind. They don't know what hits them, when you unleash your behavior on them at full throttle.
All I want to say is don't judge anyone. They are exactly the way God intended them to be.
Having higher expectations of people is justified to an extent because our standards are high but maybe we've got to realize that they're already at their full potential.
Be it a co-worker, class-mate, your partner....being judgmental will only be detrimental to your personal growth and peace of mind.
Give them a chance, without any pre-conceived notions and see where it leads. What happens might actually surprise you. And if they're exactly what you thought of them, or it doesn't work out for some entirely different reason, well...at least you gave it a shot. Laws of attraction will not put you in the same space together if your frequencies don’t match....read it somewhere.....amen in that case;-)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Don't want to......
When you feel down and out, take to writing. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that writing is cathartic!
Write your script. When you see things you don’t want, don’t think about them, write about them!
I wish there were groups out there that focussed on helping people like us with our long list of don’t wants, especially..
the don't want to be in pain anymore, don't want to feel so low anymore, don't want to be a failure anymore, don't want to be single anymore, don't want to wear a facade anymore, don't want to go on with this sorry life anymore......
.....but unfortunately not many tell us how to deal with our demons, our insecurities, our worries and our pain, not unless you're moneyed and can dole out serious cash to sit an hour with a shrink everyday!!
People say that talking to your friends helps a lot.....I have close friends, married friends, friends with kids and in-laws, dealing with their own lives the best they can right now....do I really want to get together and talk serious emotional turmoil with them? I mean.....who out there hasn't hidden a small slice of their lives even from your closest friend! They love you, they'll feel for you, they'll advise you, they'll hold your hand for you, they'll pacify you. ......but at night when you're in your bed (in my case....alone), feeling your most vulnerable, all you have is YOU.
Its so easy for self-help gurus to ask you to remove your attention from the don’t wants......and to take back the reins of your life and be in control!!!
For a cynic like me, it doesn't cut it. It's so easy to say and so very difficult to implement. Ask a recovering addict and he or she will tell you. Each day is a struggle, a fight to survive. The will to hang on is where our hope and faith springs from.
The hope that everything will eventually get better one day and your faith and belief in that....keep you alive.
It may never get better for us maybe and we'll just go on with our lives...ticking off each day as it ends OR things might just happen....we might make them and then look forward to each day as it dawns!
Laying supine on a couch or bed, all alone in your room....it's so easy to get crushed under the burden of our own emotional baggage!! Sometimes our situation may not be that bad but because we refuse to act on it in time, we just make it worse.
Remember, that opportunity knocks on every door. You just 'don't want' to lock yourself in a room crying about your raw deal, when it knocks. You might just not hear it.....
Write your script. When you see things you don’t want, don’t think about them, write about them!
I wish there were groups out there that focussed on helping people like us with our long list of don’t wants, especially..
the don't want to be in pain anymore, don't want to feel so low anymore, don't want to be a failure anymore, don't want to be single anymore, don't want to wear a facade anymore, don't want to go on with this sorry life anymore......
.....but unfortunately not many tell us how to deal with our demons, our insecurities, our worries and our pain, not unless you're moneyed and can dole out serious cash to sit an hour with a shrink everyday!!
People say that talking to your friends helps a lot.....I have close friends, married friends, friends with kids and in-laws, dealing with their own lives the best they can right now....do I really want to get together and talk serious emotional turmoil with them? I mean.....who out there hasn't hidden a small slice of their lives even from your closest friend! They love you, they'll feel for you, they'll advise you, they'll hold your hand for you, they'll pacify you. ......but at night when you're in your bed (in my case....alone), feeling your most vulnerable, all you have is YOU.
Its so easy for self-help gurus to ask you to remove your attention from the don’t wants......and to take back the reins of your life and be in control!!!
For a cynic like me, it doesn't cut it. It's so easy to say and so very difficult to implement. Ask a recovering addict and he or she will tell you. Each day is a struggle, a fight to survive. The will to hang on is where our hope and faith springs from.
The hope that everything will eventually get better one day and your faith and belief in that....keep you alive.
It may never get better for us maybe and we'll just go on with our lives...ticking off each day as it ends OR things might just happen....we might make them and then look forward to each day as it dawns!
Laying supine on a couch or bed, all alone in your room....it's so easy to get crushed under the burden of our own emotional baggage!! Sometimes our situation may not be that bad but because we refuse to act on it in time, we just make it worse.
Remember, that opportunity knocks on every door. You just 'don't want' to lock yourself in a room crying about your raw deal, when it knocks. You might just not hear it.....
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